Dear Future Husband.

With Valentine’s Day or Single’s Awareness Day coming up, depending on which one you’re celebrating this year, I thought this was the perfect time to write an open letter to my future husband.

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I’m not sure if I’m exactly qualified to write this letter, my first marriage was a complete disaster, so I thought I would take some of the lessons I learned from that and apply them to my future self and future hubby. So, here we go.

Dear Future Husband,

We did it! We got married. We got through the easiest part of the start of our life, who doesn’t love weddings?

Things to remember.

This isn’t going to be easy. But we can do it.

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We’re two separate people who are in love. We cannot lose ourselves in each other. Like the lovers before us who made it work we will fall in and out of love and that’s ok because we know that at the end of the day there is no one else we’d rather to go home to.

Besties.

Be my best friend. But, don’t worry. We have our own friends. And, our own lives away from each other. I have a killer network of girlfriends and have no intention of losing them, but I want you to be a sounding board too. I want to listen to you and what you have going on and be able to offer my advice. I want to talk things out.

Push me.

Make me communicate with you. I tend to shut down when I’m frustrated or sad, but don’t stop. Make me talk it out. Let’s never go to sleep mad. It sounds cliche but that didn’t work for me the first time around, so I won’t let it happen this time.

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I’ll go ahead and learn something from that quote.

I may resent you for making me talk about my feelings, because that’ll be something new but it won’t last for long. You may resent me for pushing you. For making you talk, but we’ve got this.

Appreciate what we have.

We’ll make each other better people by just being in each other’s lives. We’ll change and grow and navigate the world around us together. Let’s complement each other. We’ll appreciate that we both work hard. And, as they say, team work makes the dream work.

I promise to be loyal and always be here for you. I promise that when things get tough, I’ll be by your side. Just don’t let me get hungry, I can be a bit of a monster when I’m starving. You’ll probably be able to relate, so I promise to pay attention to your needs too.

Let’s have shared interests. That’s key.

Let’s go on adventures. Lots of adventures. Let’s explore. Together. The things both near and far from us so that we can build memories.

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Space is crucial.

I’m guessing you’ll be as independent as I am so we’ll have to respect each other’s space. Time to be alone. Time to think, to process, to just be. Otherwise, what a huge disservice we’ll do each other if we get clingy and needy.

I can’t wait to meet you and start this adventure. I know that you’ll be the perfect cherry on my cake and together we’ll get through this crazy little thing called life.

Love always,

Your favorite Boo

Ladies, it’s our turn.

“Women’s dearest possession is life, and since it is given to her but once she must live as to feel no torturing regret. For years without purpose, so live as not to be scarred with the shame of a cowardly and trivial past. So live that dying she can say: All my life and all my strength was given to the finest cause in the world. The liberation of womankind.”

–Alice Paul, 1885-1977, author of the Equal Rights Amendment in 1923

They call it the Suffrage Movement because that’s just what it was.

The Women’s Right Movement and a women’s right to vote began in 1840 and was finally made a national law in 1920.

Our woman Susan B. Anthony of Massachusetts joined the movement because she was not allowed to speak at rally’s as her male counterparts had. And, she knew that things needed to change.

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There are obviously a lot of details that go into changing an entire philosophy and a way of thinking in a nation notoriously run by wealthy Anglo-Saxon men and for the women before us, it was an entire century in the making. Women were beaten, tortured, and murdered for speaking out and asking for an equal chance to voice their opinions.

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As you read above, Alice Paul, was also one of the many leaders who was instrumental in the Suffrage Movement. She dedicated her entire life to bring equality to our nation, spoke to Congress time and time again, and was tortured, force fed, and beaten for her beliefs.

Now it’s our turn.

Growing up my father always told my sister and I that we must vote in every election we can. He always said “women died for your right to vote” and I honestly don’t think that I’ve ever missed a chance to vote.

On that note. Let’s make this happen.

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It’s time for a political revolution. No matter who it is that you believe will lead our countryin the right direction is admirable. Just do it.

If you live in NH, take the 15 minutes to make your voice heard. Please. Do a little research though and be sure that who ever you fill in that little left box’s name with, it is someone you actually do believe in and trust. As we all know, we’re in a time of turmoil and don’t really need to add any fuel to the fire.

We set the standard for the rest of the nation we have to act like it. Millennials, ladies, and gentleman, let’s make a change. Together, let’s get a higher voting percentage then we’ve ever hit.

On Tuesday we get to vote in the Primary, let’s show the women before us that their efforts were not made in vain.

The mountains are calling…

The song “I love the mountains” by Houaida Goulli has become my new favorite song. This week.

I’m on a little sabbatical this month, spending time in the mountains where I’m the happiest, eating killer food, and snowboarding. It’s been a mild winter here in New England so the conditions are as well as can be expected, but any day on the mountain is a good day. Sunshine and good company always help. And Stowe is fun. Long runs and short lines are just what the doctor ordered.

As we all know, this has been an intense two years, that includes love, loss, and life. Extreme stress, heartbreak, and change can be very overwhelming and coping skills are something that I need to learn stat. Having loved ones in recovery, I know what I need to do and just have to do it. The answer is in the halls. My fellow tribe will understand that one.

Basic things that you take for granted when things are going well like; good coffee, real maple syrup, yummy food, the sunshine.

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And then, when things aren’t going well, those little things become even more important. Going for walks and breathing in mountain air, great views, and the woods with someone who has been through turmoil was how I spent today.

I learned about the Indian tribes who occupied the area prior to the white man coming and how during the Spanish Inquisition the first idea of human rights was born. The trails they walked, the God’s they worshiped, and that all of the tribes in the area thought Lake Champlain was the holiest of grounds, were just a few of the things I got caught up on.

Learning is my favorite.

Lake Champlain taken on our walk through Red Rocks park.

I learned that going through a difficult time doesn’t have to define you. And, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Finally.

I finally can feel the other side. It won’t hurt this much forever, especially as I start making the next right decision, asking for help, and leaning on the people who love me.

So, for anyone going through a difficult time or feel as though there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel remind yourself of the little things. And, watch your words because you may learn to regret them, when you say things in a time of pain, you can’t take them back. That was just another learning experience apparently, I haven’t actually learned. Agh.

“Don’t be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts.” Hopi Indians.

Be kind.

Be grateful.

Eat. Even when you don’t want to.

Hydrate. Drink as much water as you can. Even when you’re not thirsty.

Surround yourself with people who love you. Listen to other people’s problems. Help them work through what they are dealing with.

You’ll be happy you did.

Netflix and Chill.

I’m drinking the kool-aid and loving every moment of it.

Just like the rest of the Nation, I’ve gotten caught up in the drama, the OMG, and the what the hell just happened moments of Making a Murderer. As we all know, binge watching Netflix has become a part time job in this joint.

As I’m in the process of going through the justice system myself, I had to turn it off during the interrogations because getting a confession from two people who have below average IQ’s hardly sound like an honorable thing to do. I was infuriated and it hit a little bit too close to home.

Let me back up. In case you have been living under a rock or haven’t had the chance to binge watch the Netflix series Making a Murderer, put it on your to do list, stat.

This isn’t a spoiler alert. It’s the story of a man in Wisconsin who was wrongly incarcerated for 18 years for a crime he didn’t commit. And, then, the story begins. I won’t give you many details because you’ll have to see it for yourself.

But, put it this way, it includes a little incest on Avery Way (that’s just a guess but when you see how much they all look alike you’ll understand), poverty, redneck’s who can probably put a car back together with their eyes closed, and like I said, a lot of below average IQ’s.

You’ll come out of this thinking you should have been a lawyer. I did at least. A criminal defense attorney who can prove that this man was set up. I mean, you looked in the same 10 foot bedroom three times and didn’t find a key until the fourth round. Puhhhhleease.

I’m obviously not a lawyer. I don’t have any kind of legal background other than marrying a cop, but I can tell you there is something corrupt and unjustified in what happened to this family. But, then again, with what is going on today, you read about it all the time.

Unarmed men are getting shot by men in positions of power (phew, so far, the women have been keeping their guns in their holsters where they belong and using their words to dilute situations, shocker) you have a race war, a man running for president who thinks we should start branding our fellow American’s (we’ve been there and done that, you may remember hearing about Adolf Hitler) and it makes you wonder where we’re heading.

This can’t be good.

I’m not going to preach about who to vote for or what to believe, I’m just telling you that the series Making a Murderer will make you think. You’ll think about how you would handle being locked in a room for hours being told what to say. When you have a 16 year old in special ed classes being told what to write, that is what he will do, he is learning. And, he literally just wants to go home and watch the WWF wrestling match.

Once you’ve seen it, you’ll get that one. It’s no joke, just draw this and draw that for me right here, Brendan, you’re doing just fine.

Thanks for the jail time O’Kelly.

I’ll wrap up this number on Making a Murderer because there’s literally too much to say. There are so many questions and the most important one is, did Avery do it? There is a dead woman with his blood in her car, a woman who never got to walk down the aisle, or carry on her own life and that’s what’s important to remember. No matter what kind of injustice we have here, there is someone who’s life was cut short for no reason at all.

When you’ve had the chance to catch up on it, let me know. There’s no shortage of phone calls between my girlfriends and I asking each other, WTF just happened?